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We're thrilled to host this insightful blog from Surf Girl Tribe, where surf confidence coach Danni Unway and somatic expert Lexi Dells explore why surfing and snow sports make us feel so good—and how to keep that feeling going, in and out of the water.
Welcome to the Vagus Nerve
As surfers and/or snow fanatics, we all know the feeling—that first wave cascading over your head after a long, chaotic day or that fresh powder that feels like icing sugar under your feet. Your jaw softens, breath slows, and you sigh deeply. It's the feeling of the ocean cleansing not only your body but your soul, washing away the noise of life and returning you to a state of peace—of bliss.
In this moment, everything else fades. You’re back to yourself, back to nature, back to love. As Kelly Slater famously said, ‘surfing is spiritual’. It’s a return to oneness, to stillness, to the pure, unfiltered joy of being alive. Whether it’s the snow falling from the sky, the ride of the wave, or the glistening light on the water, in that split second we dissolve into love. Everything disappears, and we are simply being. Bliss! This—is what surfers live for.
But what is actually happening in our bodies during these moments of bliss? Once we know what’s going on—if we can name it, understand it—is there a way to hold onto it? Because, in the surf and in life things can disrupt our flow. Someone drops in on you, the wind picks up, or you’re reminded of something stressful in your life, and the magic is gone. Or worse, you can’t get to the surf—your place of sanctuary—and you’re left desperately craving the reset and moment of bliss.
Let’s dive in and learn how we can carry this magic not just into more of our surf sessions but also into our daily lives.
The Science of Bliss: The 3 States of the Nervous System and How to Ride That Sweet Spot of Bliss
What is happening in our bodies in those moments of bliss during surfing, and how can we prolong it? First things first: as humans, we live in three different states linked to the nervous system and vagus nerve.
1. The Calm Safety State (Social Engagement State)
This state occurs when we are surfing in conditions manageable for our level. It might be warm and sunny, we have plenty of time, and we might even spot a seal or dolphin. Our jaws are relaxed, our eyes are soft, and our heart rate is low. We feel safe, connected, and fully alive. In this state, our bodies release the feel-good chemicals: dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin, which in fact, is the chemical compound structure of love.
2. The Fight or Flight State
This is a state of stress that activates when we are in slight danger. It’s okay to experience this state in moderation; it’s how we grow. However, it’s essential to know how to return to the Calm Safety State afterward. For example, if the paddle out is tough, if someone drops in on us the visibility goes on the mountain, our heart rate might increase, our jaw and body become tense, and our faces lose their softness and smiles. In this stress state, our bodies release cortisol, the stress chemical. Fortunately, when we know how to return ourselves to the Calm Safety State, dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin is released and these chemicals can dissolve cortisol. This means, for example, that we can have a stressful paddle out but, once safe again, our bodies will dissolve the stress, we will feel safe and we can experience the rush of euphoria after overcoming a challenge. As I always say to my trauma release clients ‘We can’t take the stress out of our life, but we can take it out of our body. And this is how we can maintain optimal health, wellness and positive mental health in the face of fear, on any scale—knowing how to return our bodies back to the calm safety state again and again.
3. The Freeze State
This state occurs when we are in imminent danger, often life-threatening. The body shuts down to protect us from emotional and physical pain. We go numb, dissociate, feel helpless and hopeless. This might happen if we get caught in a rip, stuck out back without knowing how to return, or getting lost on the mountain and it’s starting to get dark. Everything goes quiet, our thinking brain switches off, and it feels as though our heart rate stops. This is not the state we want to be in while surfing, and there are steps we can take to prevent it.
Riding the Sweet Spot
So, how can we find the sweet spot between the Calm Safety State and the Fight or Flight State? How can we bring our bodies back into the Calm Safety State after a slightly stressful situation? And how can we learn to thrive, not only in the surf but in life? Here are three simple tools:
1. Mindset Tools: The Scale of Discomfort
The “scale of discomfort” is a simple way to check in with yourself and gauge how you’re feeling. It can help you determine whether you’re pushing yourself too far out of your comfort zone—or not far enough.
Imagine a scale from 1 to 10, where 1 is the safe zone and 10 is the danger zone. If you’re someone who takes risks and pushes hard, you might often operate in the 8-10 range. If you prefer staying well within your comfort zone, you might hover around 1-3.
The ideal range for progression is 5-6. This is the sweet spot for safely pushing your limits. Staying too safe (1-3) limits growth, while operating in the 7-10 range may stress your nervous system unnecessarily. The middle ground fosters positive progression and confidence in your surfing or snow activity.
2. Body Orientated (Somatic Tools): Calming the Vagus Nerve
The vagus nerve regulates the body’s three states. It connects to the heart, lungs, jaw, eyes, and other organs. After a stressful situation (e.g getting held under a wave or dealing with a tough paddle out), the key is signalling safety to your body.
3. Daily Practice: Applying These Tools
Even outside of the surf or snow, you can use these tools to manage stress. Whether it’s a job interview, asking for a pay rise, or taking on a new challenge, aim for the 5-6 discomfort range. Afterward, use vagus nerve techniques to calm your body and access bliss.
In Summary
I was recently surfing on my own in Portugal. When I arrived at the beach, I realised that if I had been with friends, my scale of discomfort would have been around a 5 or 6. But on my own, it jumped to a 6 or 7. Instead of forcing myself to surf there, I chose to head to another slightly smaller beach. Without this tool I might have gone in anyway, but my chances of experiencing Bliss would have dropped because cortisol would have been pumping through my body.
Bliss can happen when we ride the edge between the calm safety state and the fight-or-flight state of the nervous system. From the very start of your surf, the scale of discomfort can actually increase your chances of experiencing Bliss in the water.
If you do find yourself caught in a heightened state, there are tools available to help calm your nervous system after danger has passed. Start with the jaw release and the slower breathing into your heart. If you repeat these tools on a daily or weekly basis you will be able to regulate yourself more easily. Yes, the "danger" in the surf, might be the swell picking up, stronger winds, or a friend leaving. But guess what? In life, danger might also look like a job interview, asking for a pay rise, or even asking someone out on a date. It’s all the same – aim for a 5-6 scale of discomfort, and afterwards, you can use the calming tools that I have covered in this blog to regulate your body.
That’s why surfers and snow riders are so awesome: we learn to work with fear over and over again. When we learn to face our fears in a manageable way, we get closer to the things we truly LOVE.
About Us
We are Surf Girl Tribe: Danni Unway, a Surf Confidence Coach and Transpersonal Psychotherapist, and Lexi Dells, as well as a Surfer and Snowboarder, she is also a Somatic (Body-Oriented) Trauma Release Practitioner and has a Masters Degree in Education. Danni covers the mind, and Lexi covers the body – together, we are Psycho-Somatic. We provide education, training, tips, and tricks for anyone wanting to increase their positive mental health in the surf – whether in the ocean, on snow, or in life.
If you’ve enjoyed this blog, please follow Surf Girl Tribe on Instagram or Facebook. Come join the tribe! We offer a range of short online courses, are available for retreats around the world, and have a specialist 1:1 package for semi-professional and professional surfers.
We hope you found it useful. Much love, Lexi Dells and Danni Unway xx
